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All Hail Zeon (Ch 21: King to D1) part 2

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"Garma?"

Given the darkness out, I would say it's probably the middle of the night now instead of the late afternoon like when I left the base. I came back though, and now have come to a special housing section we put together for what civilians we had on base. This one in particular is kind of like a house, not too-too large, more like a glorified apartment actually, but still better than common rooms on the base.

I took some time to walk after what happened, and I have not really come to any answers for the questions haunting my mind. I don't know what to think, or what I should do, but when I stopped walking I found myself here, in front of this house. This house that I, in my restless state, had decided to knock on.

"Sorry if it's a bit late. I was having trouble sleeping, and I decided to go for a walk. Now I'm here."

My walk initially had taken me back to my room for a short while until I realized that I could not sleep at all. It is a certain feeling I get when I am going to suffer from insomnia for a night, and upon feeling it I decided to head back out rather than waste time pretending I could actually sleep. This isn't the first time I've stayed awake for a night, but it is the first that I haven't just gone to do more work or something else productive.

No, tonight I felt the need to just get away from this all and be alone, not hassled by guards or people reporting to me.

I hadn't really been expecting for a half-dressed, barely awake reporter to be greeting me at her door.

"Come on in," Kinue yawns as she opens the door more to let me in, "I'm sorry, I'm not really dressed or have things prepared for a guest."

She certainly isn't dressed for the occasion, being clad only in a dark blue t-shirt and black shorts. I don't think she was intending to have someone come and visit in the middle of the night, but then again I wasn't planning on this either. I just ended up here, and some part of me felt like being an imposing guest.

"I am the one intruding, so you have nothing to apologize for," I bow my head to help convey my apologies, but on the way down my eyes catch sight of something that makes me blush. Not only is my subordinate wearing a t-shirt that reveals a bit of cleavage, but I do not believe she is wearing a bra...in normal circumstances I would have greater willpower to tear my eyes away, but I am exhausted and also so out of it right now that I fear my eyes lingered a moment too long.

No, no, not fear, I know they did. That was inappropriate. A barely dressed woman may be letting me in to her home, but that does not mean I should fall into the weaknesses of a less refined man.

...but I must wonder, were they always that big? She must wear pretty concealing clothing at work...Kycilia does that too, I believe, since I remember my sister's chest being larger then than it is now. So does Kinue intentionally hide her attractiveness to some degree? The B or C cup I work with is now wearing a flattering t-shirt that instead reveals them to be D or DD sized...why couldn't I have ended up wandering to Emmerich or Amir's rooms? Even if they showed up completely naked to the door it wouldn't phase me, I went to a military academy, so I was forced to deal with occasionally naked men in locker rooms. But a half-naked woman? I don't even look at dirty magazines, so this is a bit out of my league...

I am not normally the sort to pay attention to such a thing of course, for that would be rude and improper, but I believe such an observation to be acceptable when something twice as large as you've come to expect meets you at the door. I have to say I am impressed that she would mask her physical attributes though, for the only reason I can imagine is for professional reasons...I can certainly imagine the sort of attention they might receive otherwise, much like the attention I am paying to them now.

But that is enough philosophy about milk producers, we are inside now and I am getting my first glimpse into what one of my...well, friends might be the word for it. So this is my first look into the home of a particular friend, though it is also my first glimpse into a female friend's home. I cannot say I have really ever had one of those: I supposed I was friendly with Zenna before she married Dozle, but she is family, and Cecilia and I have never really been close, even if she is the mother of my brother's alleged bastard children.

Seemingly oblivious to my discomfort, Kinue yawns again and stretches her arms out while we enter into the front of her apartment, the area revealing itself to be a living room of sorts, "Do you have any guards with you? Urabe, Amir, and Emmerich are all asleep right now I'd think...if they finished their new paperwork, that is."

The room is quite clean and organized, with sparing decoration and the only real seeming expenditure of money being the television and the shelf of videos by it. She lives quite the Spartan lifestyle it seems...maybe a result of growing up without money? I once knew what that was like, but I am nowhere near as frugal as I once was. The giant portrait of myself in the base speaks to that all too much...

But right, my guards. I don't know where they are, but I think they picked up the hint when I purposefully ditched them after expressing annoyance with them following me everywhere I went as a large posse. I'd have felt bad if it was Urabe or the others, but no, these were just normal soldiers who probably didn't know the first thing about tailing someone well or how to properly guard someone. This is why we train people specifically for the job, but it's so late at this point that said people are asleep and I am left with those random soldiers.

I shrug while Kinue shows me over to the couch across from her television, "The run-of-the-mill guards lost track of me I think. It's fine though. Who would come looking for me here? And if I lost guards whose job it is to follow me, then I dare say would-be assassins will be even more confused as to where I've gone."

Kinue gives me a wry grin while walking over towards a section of the apartment partly visible from the living room, with what I can see revealing it to be her kitchen, "Is there anything I can get you, like something to drink, or maybe some food?"

When I had gone to try and sleep, I had fortunately changed from my blood stained clothing into an alternate uniform, blue in its coloration rather than the usual green, but the event that caused said bloodshed was still on my mind and I was none too hungry as I remembered the hot liquid spilling onto me from the man who tried blowing me up, shooting me, stabbing me, and strangling me.

"I appreciate the offer, but no, I think I just need some time to think. I don't even know what I'm doing if I am to be honest..."

She does retrieve something from the kitchen though while I sit in silence in her near empty living room, tired at this point to the point where I cannot contemplate the major issues clouding my mind but still trying to all the same. When she returns, I see that she has come back with a pair of mugs by her ju...I am not going to finish that rhyme. I feel almost bad for the tabloids though, since in my current state I've lost some of my restraint and am finding that the woman I work with every day is quite attractive.

I wonder, is this what others have to go through when they work with me? Not to be arrogant, but my handsome or beautiful features have received a good deal of scrutiny. I suppose it is just a bit odd to be on the giving end of said attention this time around, and I just pray my impropriety is not caught, for I am honestly ashamed of it and would hate for it to be observed.

Ahem, so she is holding two cups and is now extending one out to me to take, revealing it to have tea inside. I must be really out of it, because I am surprised she just made tea in what felt like seconds...telling myself that I am tired and not of my usual mind is helping me excuse my being a warm blooded male at least internally.

I accept the offer, and find that my throat welcomes the tea it swallows thanks to what I am guessing is dehydration on my part. I have been walking outside for hours aimlessly, so I guess I am a bit thirsty.

Kinue sits down on a chair that is nearby the couch and begins to drink her own tea as well, slowly sipping it like someone used to drinking it on a regular basis, "Since you're here, you're welcome to stay the night if you want. You can take my bed even, since I've slept on enough couches that it's almost what I'm more used to."

Every alarm is going off in my head right now about just how inappropriate such an arrangement would be...but I honestly feel a bit enticed by the offer. I can't sleep in my room, but maybe trying to sleep somewhere new would help my problem. I also have no idea what is and is not appropriate for friends of the opposite sex to do. Is it okay to sleep over at a female's house as a guy? What about as a guy who also is her employer? Well, Kycilia technically is I guess, but I'm the one who Kinue has to deal with most the time.

In any case, while the offer itself is tempting, the idea of sleeping in Kinue's bed while she would be relegated to the couch is unspeakable. As if I would ever force someone to give up their own bed for my sake.

Besides, this couch is actually kind of comfortable. And it's long enough for me to fit on it if I lay down.

"I wouldn't think of taking your own bed from you. But would staying the night not be inappropriate? You work for me, and it would breach certain codes I believe."

Kinue shrugging back with a grin tells me that she really doesn't care, "We're friends, right? I'm sure if you wound up by Emmerich's or Urabe's room they would let you stay, wouldn't they? It's late, so you really shouldn't be walking around anymore anyways."

I can feel myself blushing as I realized I have now lost this verbal game of chess: I basically have to admit that we are friends now, and I have no argument to the contrary of her claim that friends can do things like this. Furthermore her point is correct that it is quite late out, so I really should just stay inside...even though we're on base and all...

Okay, so what if I want to be convinced to partake in the closest thing to a sleepover I've ever had? I like the idea of trying to sleep somewhere different for a change.

"I suppose you're right," I admit to her, conceding the checkmate with some brief hesitation.

To be honest, I am curious what she thinks of me right now. Dazed and only awake not out of energy but an inability to sleep, I must be quite the poor sight right now. My hair is messed up and falling in front of my eyes when I don't remember to remove it,

But she's smiling and hasn't said a word implying that she minds any of this, even though I likely woke her up and am now keeping her up. Does she just not want to upset her boss? Is it because she really does think we're friends? She must think I'm weird though for this...it's not like I really meant for this to happen though. I just wanted to get some fresh air and think about things, and when I realized I wasn't walking anymore I was at her doorstep.

I can't let Emmerich or Urabe find out about this. They would never let me live it down, of that I am absolutely certain.

Instead of judging me as I worried she would, Kinue placed her tea down and gave me a sympathetic look as she looked over my face, no doubt noticing the same gaunt features and the bags under my eyes that my father had earlier, "You don't seem too phased by the prospect of being sleepless, and I've seen you be really tired some days. Near catatonic even."

"I..."

Maybe she really is my friend, if she cares about something like that. I trust Urabe and the others with my life, and they mean a great deal to me, but even I am not sure they would dare bring up something like this with me: they wouldn't imply that I have health problems stemming from an inability to sleep. They would see it as their job to stand stoic and support me, but not make personal judgments when they are not asked for. Because I'm their Prince...

I look down at my hand, a soft white glove covering it. I try to take it off, but I find that my hand is shaking too much to do so with only one hand. Placing my tea down, I try to take it off again, but I find that both my arms are suffering from this...what would it be? Anxiety?

I freeze though when I feel Kinue touch my arm. Looking up at her, I can see that she looks sad...is it pity? And if not, what then?

With her help, I manage to get my gloves off so I can look down at my hands. I had washed them completely clean earlier when I changed clothes, but I can still feel where the other man's blood had dried on them. Where I had to scrub my hand to remove the dry fluid from my body.

I may have killed him, but he wasn't the only one whose death I could be blamed for. Everyone lost in this Earth invasion...everyone I fought in that first month of the war...everyone whose lives were lost to Gihren's colony operations...perhaps I couldn't change it all, but here I am, a part of this war...

Part of me wants this feeling of guilt to go away, wants it to disappear so life is easier, so I am not woken by nightmares of innocent people screaming as they were murdered by poison gas, or as a colony crashed down on top of them.

I believe in our goal, but...

"When I think of everything that's happened, I can't sleep, and sometimes even when I'm asleep my mind does not let me forget the things I wished I could."

I feel her sit down beside me, and I don't fight as I feel her put an arm around me. She doesn't say anything at first, and I appreciate the silence as well as the gesture.

The only person who hugs me nowadays is Dozle...this whole time though I've had no-one to share my burden with. Dozle bears the same guilt I do, and he doesn't want to talk about it...Kycilia expects me to be strong, so I can't show her just how weak I am...and I am too afraid of letting Father down to show him this. And as good a friend as Char was to me, it wasn't the sort of friendship where we shared our feelings all that often...

Right now though, I don't feel like I'm being judged. Someone is just being nice to me and showing me the support I've been completely without now for years, and been craving for months. I really shouldn't let my guards and an aide lounge around in my office, but they're all I have...

"And then your Gaw caught fire."

The deadpan humor just as she touches my hair makes me laugh. Here I am, opening my heart, and she says something funny to try and cheer me up...

While I look over to her, I feel tears in my eyes even as I smile and mimic her method of speaking.

"And someone tried killing me, and so I killed a man today," I glance down at my blue military uniform that was made to my specifications, but was most definitely atypical much like Char's red one or Dozle's gold accented one with spikes, "His blood is on my uniform, and I had to wear this one in its place."

Kinue pokes at the suit while smiling at me warmly, her eyes sympathetic and kind, "Blue suits you, but blood doesn't."

I may just have to start wearing more blue then...I like it as a color, but I haven't paid it too much mind recently. I guess I associate it with Gihren, who wore a lot of it when we were growing up and who even now wears navy blue uniforms with really nice blue sashes...in fact, when I was younger I was more fond of the color, but now that I am older I suppose I've wanted to separate myself from my siblings. Show that I am my own person. My Gouf is red and green, colors I like together, but which I would never wear on my own person. Maybe a future mobile suit could have some blue though...

To her point though, perhaps she is right: I want to be the best soldier I can be for my people, but this profession doesn't come easily to me. I can fight to protect people without batting an eyelash, but when I am the one on the offense...when I am the one others are defending themselves from...that feels different. It feels wrong.

Even today, I was protecting myself, but a part of me wonders if I could have spared his life...at least for the time being. He would be convicted of trying to assassinate me and be executed, but it wouldn't have been by me driving a knife through his lung and heart.

I look down at my palms. This wasn't the first time I've taken a life, but until now I haven't seen their life drain from their eyes. I haven't felt like I killed someone who didn't have to die.

"Your job is about making me look like something I'm not. I am a killer, not a hero."

We fall into silence after that, as I have spoken my mind and finally told someone of the guilt I feel, while she seems to be thinking of just what to say back. After a moment she stands up and moves out of my sight as it remains focused down at my hands, but she is not gone for long. It turns out she was just re-positioning herself so she could lean into my back and put her arms around me.

Kinue...

"You do your best to help the people who rely on you. You look out for civilians even if they will and have waged guerilla warfare against you. You support people hurt by the war, people hurt by things out of your control."

I almost don't know what to do or say...I am used to shallow praise or none at all. I am used to being told that I am weak for my feelings, for being 'too soft'...

This was why I came here, wasn't it? I can feel that it's true...some part of me knew that if I came here, if I spoke to her I would have someone who would listen to me...someone who understood me and wouldn't get mad or mock me.

Having someone hold me...having someone tell me that I'm not the monster I think I am...I haven't felt this feeling since before Zeon Deikun died. This whole time I have been surrounded by others, but no-one has bothered to just be there for me. To support me, and not the ideal I am supposed to live up to. They all see Zeon's Prince, they see a Zabi...

Why does it take someone from the Federation to understand me?

Continuing on with what she was saying, Kinue has lowered her forehead down to be touching my head, giving an odd sense of intimacy and comfort as she spoke, "You're a good person, Garma. I just am showing others what I can see in you. The real you, who loses sleep over things other people ignore. That's the person, the you who that so many people love. We know you are a good person doing the best he can in the situation he finds himself, and that's what matters. You're not to blame for what Gihren's done, you're not to blame for the war. You want to do what you believe is right, and you protect everyone you can. You're a good person, Garma. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself."

I don't know how even to respond. It's been so long...I haven't had someone comfort me like this since I was a child. Since Kycilia changed. Since the others buried themselves in work. I'm sure someone else would know how to react, know what to say to someone being so kind to them in this way, but all I can do is say the most basic of things back to her to my own chagrin.

"Thank you..."

She seems to understand, as she doesn't pressure me to say anything more, and we stay just like that for a few moments longer. Eventually the embrace comes to a close, and I realize that I had moved my hands to be touching her arms when said arms retreat from my body. The warmth I felt from her against me lingers a moment before disappearing and leaving me longing for more, but I see that Kinue has her mind on something else now.

I must say this about her, she is a woman of action, since instead of just consoling me she seems to have come up with a plan to try and make me feel a bit better. Why do I say this? She is perusing her movie collection now, and she has a grin on her face like she's determined to find something there.

"You know, sometimes when I can't sleep I sometimes watch something to tire myself out."

"Oh? What do you watch?"

I think I can see her blush out of embarrassment as she places her hands on her hips, "I've started collecting anime now that I have some disposable income. Finding old ones can be difficult, but they're often a lot better than the ones from now."

Now I see why she's embarrassed, and I find myself grinning as well, "The Japanese woman watches anime. I wish I could say I was surprised."

Kinue turns around to show me her eyes, which she squints and uses her fingers to make them look narrower in an obvious allusion to the typical Asian trait she actually lacks thanks to being half American, her eyes more typical of Caucasian ancestry than her Japanese side, "I have a few other stereotypes I could live up to if you want. I already have some experience as a Tiger Mom to Saji, but I think that's more of a Chinese thing from the middle-ages than a Japanese one."

The idea of Kinue playing the part of overbearing mother who pushes her children to their maximum potential makes me smirk, since I am sure she was as tough on her brother as she could manage, while the idea of her as a mother is amusing in its own right. With her dedication to her work, I wonder if she even would ever settle down. Perhaps, like Kycilia with me, Kinue raising Saji was it for child rearing and now everything was about work.

That would be kind of unfortunate though...the world could certainly do with a few more smart and stubborn journalists who can do their jobs. It's seemingly genetic, since she's just like her father from what I've heard.

Not clued in to my pondering, Kinue turns back to the movies and continues looking at the top parts of the large shelf, "Speaking of Saji, when I lived in Japan sometimes I would watch shows with my brother. Sometimes the news, sometimes anime, sometimes old movies we could actually afford..."

"You miss him, don't you?"

It may be a question, but I know the answer because I know the feeling myself. I miss my own siblings even though I get to talk to them every now and again...she rose her brother, and she hasn't gotten to see him in almost half a year. It must be killing her to not be able to talk to him or be with him.

Now it seems it is Kinue's turn to show her inner turmoil, as she pauses her search to look down at the floor, "I'm always worried about him when I'm not keeping myself busy. If my mind wanders, I think about if he's able to take classes with all of this going on, if he's in danger, if he is eating well..."

And to think, someone tried killing this woman...while I do not enjoy bloodshed, I might want to handle a certain execution on my own now. I don't know for certain how her brother would have felt, but if he is anything like me, I would have been devastated, furious to lose my sister. The man who would hunt a civilian like her deserves to be punished, for a good person nearly died. This world does not have an endless supply of them, and the thought of losing a good soul to one of the wicked ones incenses me.

A more calming thought though is that Kinue really is like my sister...she cares so much for Saji, and has sacrificed so much for his sake. Kycilia never finished school because she was looking after me...Kinue didn't either to care for Saji. Someone who would give so much for their family ranks among the highest in my respect, and even now after all this time she still cares for him...

"He's lucky to have a sister who cares about him."

My words betray my own feelings on my similar situation, bringing Kinue to shoot back a sad glance, "I know she can be rough, but does Kycilia treat you well?"

If barely speaking to me, almost never acknowledging me or my accomplishments, no longer caring to see how I am doing, and only contacting me now when she needs business done counts as treating me well, then yes, yes she is.

I love my sister, and I will always try to earn her love, but years of trying and not receiving the validation I'm looking for...I would be lying if deep down it hasn't hurt me. I want my sister to love me, but she doesn't seem to even want to try to keep our relationship as strong as it once was. I feel it dying every day, and I seek every opportunity I can, every excuse I can muster, just to talk to her...only for her to end these conversations at her earliest convenience.

Still, Kycilia is under a lot of pressure...maybe when this is all over she will return to being the kind, friendly person I knew when we were growing up, "I suppose. She doesn't spend time with me watching things, or come see how I am doing and talking to me...but she does care about me. I think my father and I are the only ones she might even care about these days."

To shift from the depressing topic, Kinue tries to cheer me up with a joke of sorts.

"Poor M'Quve."

M'Quve? I am lost. What?

"What about M'Quve?"

Kinue shrugs before placing her hands on her hips, drawing my attention to them, "I have sympathy for people who are friendzoned. It's unfortunate."

My eyes look over her mostly exposed legs and I can see that they are quite well toned...her exercises with Urabe have left her fit I suppose, and her already large hips and thighs are left quite stunning as a result. Right now is my first experience really seeing them, since usually she has clothes on, but right now I am left to suffer with this t-shirt and shorts combo that leave little to my imagination.

No. Bad Garma. Stop noticing how beautiful your coworker is and think about the conversation at hand. You are tired and not thinking straight.

Ahem...yes, M'Quve. I too pity M'Quve, who has long played the part of knight to Kycilia's lady, but she doesn't seem to have an interest in him beyond him being her little loyal servant. And to think, they once were close friends when I was younger...now they are servant and master. Another sign that my sister has changed, and I would have to admit I want the old Kycilia back.

"I grew up always thinking they would become a couple, but they never did. He was always like an uncle to me anyways, so it just felt natural with how much time they spent together."

Kinue has bent over to keep looking at the movies, but she seems to have given up if her facial expression means anything. I don't think she's found something she specifically wants to show me yet. Soon enough, she admits this, but I have to admit with her bending over I am barely capable of listening.

"Since you're my guest, what do you feel like watching? I've seen everything here, so nothing is really jumping out at me."

Looking at the selection of videos would be possible if only she wasn't there as well, for now my view is obscured by something the less cordial part of my brain is fascinated by. Is she even wearing anything under those tight shorts? From a certain angle, I can't say I think she is...

I really should have thought this through. I mean, I am sleep deprived at the moment and so thinking things through is quite difficult, but I suppose this is my punishment for waking up a female coworker in the middle of the night.

Come to think of it, you can't spell sassy without as—no! Now is not the time for puns. I must remain focused, and said focus needs to not be on any of the womanly attributes that are now serving as the bane of my existence...

...

Okay, fine. She's beautiful, and I'm too tired to care about what it means that I am admitting that to myself. During the day I tell myself mantras about how she's an employee, but now I am being shown her full body and I have to admit that I do indeed work with someone I am physically attracted to. I mean, who wouldn't be? Perhaps she is not the model or idol sort of beauty, but she fits the "girl-next-door" archetype that is a mixture of cute with raw attractiveness. So while her face might not have the same exact draw as say Eschonbach's daughter, it instead holds its own special appeal.

Okay, that finally admitted to myself, I have to actually speak to her lest she look back and find me staring at her instead of the movies.

However, next time I wander, I'm going to Urabe's.

Hopefully.

Having a destination would kind of defeat the purpose of wandering.

Okay, so I should give her a basic response now before she gets suspicious, "Whatever you think is a good gateway to anime. I haven't viewed too much on my own, especially not recently, so I defer to your judgment."

Kinue is a beautiful woman...I suppose I am just now remembering that since it's so obvious when she is not wearing two shirts and loose pants.

It's too bad that she is my subordinate...if she was just someone from the village or a normal civilian I might feel tempted to ask her out to dinner.

With my suggestion as a guide, Kinue soon finds something for us. It's not long before I'm passed out on the couch, but for the first time in a long time I feel at ease as I drift off.

It's nice spending time with someone who cares about you for once.


"Good morning."

I am a little dazed as I come to, but it's not to the howling of my alarm clock...no, I woke up on my own and someone noticed me waking up.

Who is in my room? What do I pay my guards for...

I try to roll over in my bed, only to find that I am about to fall off a couch.

Oh...right.

My eyes crack open bit by bit until I look down and see that a blanket has materialized on top of me. I guess Kinue put it there after I fell asleep...

I move so that I am no longer falling off the couch and start to pull myself to sit up straight with some effort. I feel well rested, but I am still in the process of waking up. I wonder how long I slept?

"What time is it?"

Kinue walks by the living room to walk towards the kitchen, where she had been bringing some cooking utensil over to, "I probably should have said good afternoon. It's two."

Well there goes my hopes of today being a productive day...great.

So that we can continue talking I follow her into the kitchen, using a hand to brush my messy hair out of the way of my eyes. Loose strands are all over the place, and it's bugging me...I've been slowly growing my hair out here on Earth, but learning to deal with longer hair can be annoying. On my way I also pick up the tea glass from last night, which had been left on the living room's table. I wouldn't want to be a rude guest and leave dishes around.

To her credit, Kinue senses my apprehension about the time of day and reveals that she's already dealt with the issues that may have arisen from me being absent for so long, "Don't worry, I told everyone you were feeling under the weather. Your Gaw is grounded for the time being, so your whole schedule today is basically ruined. So you can do whatever you want on base until things are reorganized."

While my plans may be ruined, I still have things I need to do...I have to catch up on what I've missed out on this morning.

"I need to be working—"

An interesting variation of the Tiger Mom comes out as Kinue points to the table, narrows her eyes almost threateningly, and near forces me with her death glare to sit down there. Stereotypical Tiger Mom would prioritize work, but it seems Kinue wants me to not be starving anymore so I can work productively.

"When was the last time you ate an actual meal?"

...does the mess hall count?

Now smiling at my lack of response, Kinue goes back to preparing food as I take my seat silently, "That's what I thought. Sit. Eat breakfast. You need it."

I didn't expect to get a meal out of this...it's surprisingly generous of her. Well, surprising in that it's not expected for her to do it for me, but knowing my associate I really should have expected her specifically to do this for me. She's played the role of mother before, to enter her home and not leave with a full stomach would be a shock.

All I can do is go along with it, and so I graciously accept her kindness yet again, "Thank you."

"No problem. Go ahead and start, I've already eaten."

So before me are waffles, a pumpkin pie she made herself it seems, cantaloupe, french toast, rice, and various vegetables on the side of it all.

I don't think she knows what I like to eat yet, so she made everything she could...she didn't have to be so considerate, but I must say I do appreciate it. I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday, over an entire day ago actually, and so I am absolutely starving.

"I don't get to cook all that often these days, and most my food is just whatever I can grab quickly as I work, so I appreciate the opportunity to keep my skills sharp," Kinue explains as I begin to eat. I have to say that she actually is a great cook...perhaps a slight bit out of practice as she implies, but her skill is superb all the same, and I would like to taste what her cooking is like when she isn't so rusty.

I nearly blush as I realize I want to wake up here more mornings...or early afternoons as it may be.

"You are a good cook if this is your rusty handiwork."

After saying this I come to realize that my dilemma last night has been fixed, and Kinue is fully dressed in her usual clothes. Does she only own the one outfit? In any case, she also has an apron on top of it, and it's actually kind of cute since it contrasts so much with her work clothes, but she doesn't mind at all as she is all smiles as she keeps working with food.

"Thank you."

After the pie doesn't exist anymore along with a good helping of whipped cream, I start to think of some of what we were speaking of last night...and something we've spoken of before. I've been trying to make it so we can communicate with Japan, but we don't hold that territory yet and so my ability to pull strings there is limited.

Still, I feel like Kinue should have the chance to talk to her brother just like I get to talk to my own family. She deserves that much and more.

"You know, I can see about making it so you can speak to your brother. I've been trying already, but I can see what I can do to make it happen sooner."

She seems surprised by this, if not a little flustered by the offer, "You don't have to go out of the way for me, Garma."

Not 'sir', but 'Garma'...I can't say I mind. It's actually kind of nice...

"You deserve the chance to be with your family, one way or another. It wouldn't be a problem."

With the last of her cooking done, Kinue brings it over to the table and sits across from me. She's smiling at me, and a warm feeling spreads across me as I see just how much this means to her. It's written across her face just how much the chance to learn about how her brother's doing means to her, "Thank you, Garma. I don't know what to say..."

I don't either, and so neither of us speaks as we eat the rest of the meal together in silence. It's fine though, since I just enjoy the company, and she seems pleased that I am a fan of her cooking and am wolfing down all food in sight to make up for not having touched it in so long. I probably was starving last night and just couldn't feel it with how off I was after I nearly died twice.

As we begin to finish the food, another thought comes to mind: I stayed the night at someone's house. A woman's house. If I leave here now there will be so many rumors...

Again, Kinue reads my expression and she too looks a bit worried about it, "How are we going to explain this?"

Some further contemplation on the subject actually calms me down, and I just shrug it off.

"Explain to who? No-one is going to be waiting outside your house for me, so I just need to slip onto the main part of the base and I will be in the clear."

A little embarrassed for some reason, Kinue blushes and nods, "Oh, right. Of course."

"Given the...less than professional nature of sleeping over a subordinate's house, I would ask that you keep this between us. I would not want word to get out that I did something so...improper."

Now her face is red as the blood that got spilled on my usual uniform, "It's not like we...you know..."

Oh...right. That.

It's not like we're married, so of course nothing of that sort happened. But others don't have the same values I do...

"Oh of course not. But we both know that others will jump on the faintest trace of impropriety and make a big deal out of a simple evening where two friends spent time together."

The conversation awkward enough, we lapse into silence. She's probably still embarrassed about the last subject, as she's looking away while nibbling on a bagel.

I am done eating now, and so I use one arm to prop my head up on the table as I take a moment to just let my stomach settle. I didn't think that much food could fit in me, but I proved myself wrong it seems.

The sun is shining down on Kinue from outside and I'm left to think of just how beautiful she really is...not just in body, but in spirit. She is a good person, and I wish I had gotten over my uptight boundaries sooner so I could have gotten to know her sooner. Maybe then the weight of this burden would have been lighter to bear all this time, for I already feel like weight has been taken off my shoulders just by having spent the one night together talking.

"Thank you, Kinue. This...it means a lot."

She finally looks back up, still blushing now but looking less embarrassed this time around.

"Of course Garma. You can come over anytime you want, okay?"

Waking up without an alarm screeching, having a home-cooked meal with someone else, no servants or guards to bother you, just family...

Father, was this what you were trying to tell me before? Was this what it was like with Mother all those years you were together?

I can't say I'm in love...I don't know that feeling well enough yet to even describe it, at least in the romantic sense. But now I am convinced that I am at least infatuated with my dear reporter, and the thought of waking up like this, of spending my days with someone who cares for me and sees who I am...

I should talk to Dozle sometime. He knows more about all of this...

In the meantime though, I'm content with having a friend. A kind, beautiful, intelligent friend who happens to work for me.

The next time I visit though, I'm coming at a time she's going to be wearing clothes.

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EchoWing's avatar
*trots off to Spacebattles.net, finds a post, pulls out a chainsaw...*bzzzzSKREEEETbzzzzSKREEEETbzzzzSKREEEETbzzzzSKREEEETbzzzz*plops in chunk of post*

...and here I am with my shipping senses tingling.

I can't blame Garma, Kinue's very easy on the eyes. And I can sympathize with him - my own grandparents have been indirectly bugging me lately about being single. Still, he's treading on dangerous ground, and it's good that he knows it.